New column is up.

Do you know that if you find an eyelash that has fallen out of your eyelid and landed elsewhere on your face, you’re supposed to make a wish and then blow the lash off the end of your finger? I’m sure this is a chick thing. Obviously. Wonder what happens if you do that with an eyebrow hair? An eyebrow hair that you thought was an eyelash but after considering it for a bit you’re pretty sure it came from higher up your face? Does that mean the wish only partially comes true?

Oh, wait, it doesn’t matter. Because it’s all bullshit. But I still do it. Maybe I’ll stop once I get into my 40s. Wouldn’t bet on it, though.

Happy New Year. It’s the year of the pig, so eat some bacon to celebrate.

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