Category: stupidization

  • unrelenting relevance

    unrelenting relevance

    Here’s a play I wrote for the 2014 Dallas One-Minute Play Festival at Kitchen Dog Theater. BOULDER HOLDER by Crystal Jackson (GIRL is facing upstage with her shirt unbuttoned as MOM helps her fasten something underneath it.) GIRL: I don’t want to wear this. MOM: You’re starting middle school today. It’s time. GIRL: But it […]

  • selfie(ish) nation

    selfie(ish) nation

    Last night I dreamed I was in Big Sur, and the fire that’s been burning for more than two weeks (in waking life) was closing in. I could see big plumes of smoke just over the hills and hear the crackle of burning brush. It was terrifying. When I woke up this morning, I found […]

  • they once were wolves

    Does an animal that finds its asshole, an ice cube and its owner’s face equally delightful to lick care about seeing the Hollywood sign? Does an animal that chases its own tail, surprises itself by farting and is scared of the vacuum want to go to the Grand Canyon and marvel at the enormity of it all? Does an animal that, at […]

  • marketer, heal thyself

    A PR firm in Austin got its ass handed to it over the weekend when people beyond their inner circle of hospitality industry clients heard about their name: Strange Fruit PR. If you don’t know the significance of that name, here’s some history. In 1937, teacher Abel Meeropol (a white Jewish man) wrote a poem after […]

  • you win, Bunker Hill HEB grocery sackers

    We have a winner! In what has been an ongoing competition for shittiest job of sacking groceries at the Bunker Hill HEB, the young lady who bagged my stuff today is the grand champion. This comes after four-and-a-half years of going to this store every weekend and experiencing moderately shitty to super shitty grocery bagging […]

  • the top 5 reasons I hate lists

    1. Lists are lazy writing. It takes effort to write something that flows forth from a central idea and has segues and transitions. It’s much easier to come up with a slideshow about “The Top Ten Reasons We Don’t Miss 80s’ Fashion” with a pithy sentence or two for each image and call it journalism. […]

  • I gotcher flow right here, buddy

    The recommendation came from someone I know or someone whose blog I read. I don’t remember. The book is called Finding Flow, The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life.  I had a bit of a buzz when I ordered it. You know, holding a glass of wine in one hand, scrolling around on the internet […]

  • opinions are like assholes

    Everybody has one. Except that poor fellow who was born without an asshole and had to poop through his elbow. Best we not talk about it. Jimmy Carter said last night that he was in support of the legalization of marijuana. Or, specifically, he said: let’s see how it plays out in Washington and Colorado […]

  • no exit

    My first mistake was not going to the gym after work. That’s what I’d planned to do. Had my gym clothes in the trunk and my iPod was fully charged. But when I left the office, I was distracted and got on the freeway instead of heading under it into downtown. As soon as I […]