Category: douchebags

  • Del Boca Vista, 2014

    Del Boca Vista, 2014

    You can’t keep us out.

  • maybe I’ll just rent a car instead

    maybe I’ll just rent a car instead

    A decade ago when I was working at the Alley Theatre, we sponsored a breakfast event for our corporate donors. Larry Kellner, then-CEO of Houston-based Continental Airlines, was the speaker. The company’s slogan was “Work hard, fly right,” and Continental was being awarded a number of honors, including Most Admired Global Airline and Most Admired U.S. Airline by […]

  • selfie(ish) nation

    selfie(ish) nation

    Last night I dreamed I was in Big Sur, and the fire that’s been burning for more than two weeks (in waking life) was closing in. I could see big plumes of smoke just over the hills and hear the crackle of burning brush. It was terrifying. When I woke up this morning, I found […]

  • don’t be a tourist

    don’t be a tourist

    A newborn bison was euthanized Monday because a couple of tourists in Yellowstone thought it would be a good idea to give the little feller a ride in their warm SUV (it was cold outside), causing the mom and rest of the herd to later reject it. Tourists reaching the end of the Appalachian Trail are behaving so […]

  • marketer, heal thyself

    A PR firm in Austin got its ass handed to it over the weekend when people beyond their inner circle of hospitality industry clients heard about their name: Strange Fruit PR. If you don’t know the significance of that name, here’s some history. In 1937, teacher Abel Meeropol (a white Jewish man) wrote a poem after […]

  • gift suggestions for people you don’t like

    I started putting together this gift guide to assist you with your Christmas shopping. Specifically for people you are a) mad at or b) don’t much care for. Alas, I neglected to get this out there during the holidays. Let’s remedy that now. THE WINE RACK – You’re going to a game or concert, and […]

  • no exit

    My first mistake was not going to the gym after work. That’s what I’d planned to do. Had my gym clothes in the trunk and my iPod was fully charged. But when I left the office, I was distracted and got on the freeway instead of heading under it into downtown. As soon as I […]

  • old biddies at the bead shop (not counting me)

    This will come as a bit of a surprise to some of you who’ve known me for a long time, but I’ve become all crafty and shit the past couple of years. I’m not doing needlepoint or painting plywood cut-outs for the front yard or making anything you’d find in a house on Hee-Haw, but […]

  • Chic-fil-Asshole

    I’ve mentioned before that I hate Chick-fil-A’s stupid cow marketing campaign: I saw a Chick-fil-A billboard yesterday that featured a couple of cows writing about eating more “chikin.” You know, because if you’re eating chicken, you’re not eating cow. All of the company’s cow-related marketing features kitschy bad spelling, which makes no sense. If a […]