people get ready…

…there’s a weather media blitz a comin’. The strong start to hurricane season is getting everyone’s panties in a wad, so in honor of that I thought I’d share the hurricane preparation guide I wrote for Houstonist back in 2007. Didn’t know I used to write a fake advice column, did you? You did? Oh.Continue reading “people get ready…”

Ask a Dilettante: Bathroom Encounter

A few weeks ago I was in the bathroom, when one of my coworkers entered, went into the stall next to mine, and took a seat. The following is what I heard. – 10 seconds of silence – “God damn, I hate my life!” – 5 seconds of silence – “Hey! Hey! Hey!” – 1Continue reading “Ask a Dilettante: Bathroom Encounter”

Ask a Dilettante – Don’t Wear Your Heart on Your T-Shirt

I’m really excited about wearing my Obama shirt when I go vote. I’m thinking if I’m really friendly to the other people in line and I look good – the shirt’s tight and I fill it out pretty well, if you know what I mean – maybe I’ll be able to sway a few undecidedContinue reading “Ask a Dilettante – Don’t Wear Your Heart on Your T-Shirt”

Ask a Dilettante – Why So Quiet, Poopie?

Um, are the democrats sleeping right now or what? Did someone kidnap them? Or maybe give them a ruffie? I’m being serious. – Steph, Houston Hhmmm…good question. They (and by “they,” I’m referring to Obama and Biden) have been noticeably quiet for the past week or so. I have a few theories as to whyContinue reading “Ask a Dilettante – Why So Quiet, Poopie?”

Ask a Dilettante – Canned Heat is Full of Fiber

I just saw a commercial for a cereal, I think it was Total, that used a Canned Heat song as the background ditty. It really bothered me for some reason, and I’m not sure why. — Abbie H., Chicago Though you didn’t really ask a question, Abbie, I get your drift. The growing number ofContinue reading “Ask a Dilettante – Canned Heat is Full of Fiber”

Ask a Dilettante – Bikers, Geocentrism

I’m all for transportation by bike, but what’s up with Houston bikers never observing stop signs and traffic lights? I almost run over and kill a biker every day, and it’s always their fault. Maybe we need to add “bikes too!” to the bottom of every traffic sign and signal. — Ophelia, Houston-upon-Avon Oh, Ophelia.Continue reading “Ask a Dilettante – Bikers, Geocentrism”

Ask a Dilettante – Fresh Meat(balls)

Can you tell me how they ever sell and/or keep all of that prepared food fresh at Central Market? I have a hard time believing that those stuffed meatballs I see there on Monday are not the same ones I see on Friday. — Ahn, A Concerned Prepared-food Shopper Perhaps you should quit eyeballing theContinue reading “Ask a Dilettante – Fresh Meat(balls)”