Number of hours spent in the minivan we rented
to drive home for Christmas : 70
Miles driven : 4,309
Least paid for regular unleaded gas : $1.99/gallon (in Texas)
Most paid : $2.99/gallon (in California, near the airport)
Weather conditions driven through : snow, fog, rain
Most fun, yet undocumented, coincidence :
passing mile 420 on I-10 in Texas at 4:20PM
Best combination of items sold at gas station along the way : fireworks,
moccasins, ceramic dogs, dream catchers, ‘Murica t-shirts,
Dairy Queen (Butterfield Station in New Mexico)
Most bothersome vanity plate : ienvyme
(in Houston, California plates)
Number of rainbows witnessed : three, all in California
Most dramatic highway event (tie) : overturned 18-wheeler, huge fire late at night
Terrain driven through : mountains, desert, prairie, swampland
Most unexpected thing I said : “That’s a fucking camel!”
as we passed a truck hauling a trailer…with a camel inside
Most awkward conversation : hearing about polar shifts
from the guy working the night shift at the hotel
Want to see some pictures?
minivans may not look like much, but this B was a great road cruiser (side note: with one or two exceptions, we stuck to Pilot/Flying J truck stops – consistently clean bathrooms inside and a place for the dogs to do their business outside)we left before dawn – as the sun came up, so did the fog (not unusual where we live) – the skies cleared for a bit, but then we started to see signs the weather might not be agreeable aheadso this is where that play’s title came from – we also passed Woman Hollering Creek (book by Sandra Cisneros) on I-10 near San Antonio – maybe I’ll name my next play “Have you seen THE THING?”Palo Verde nuclear generating station – no, that doesn’t look menacing at allsomething about these things makes me uncomfortable – like the blades are going to spin free and chop my head off (I like to worry about stuff)there were variations on DWI messaging by state – this was in Arizona – Texas had “Buzzed driving is drunk driving” and “Drive sober or get pulled over”Arizona doesn’t fuck around when it comes to raina lot of our drive looked like thisand thisklassythis chick’s bumper sticker should have said, “CAUTION: Driver texting while propelling vehicle 80 MPH down highway” – it was disturbing the number of drivers who were buried in their hand computers instead of the important task of drivingtransparent semiI’m going to guess that the middle sign used to say “MOTEL”we’ve been from Tucson to Tucumcari, Tehachapi to Tonopah – and we’re still willingoh, Texas, don’t ever changethere was one reason for this trip back home – to see the people we love – my niece and nephew both grew up in the 9 months since we moved – Rowan is a whiz at building thingsand Molly is a tough girly-girl who loves to play, whether with marshmallow guns, Barbie dolls, a musical instrument, an iPad or a Hello Kitty used as a ballon the way back, we stayed at Hotel El Capitan in Van Horn – they aren’t kidding when they say it’s the sister to El Paisano in Marfa – they’re practically identical twinsour last Texas meal was this chicken fried steak with jalapeño gravy and roasted asparagus (from the restaurant at El Capitan) – had to get it to go because our dogs need constant love and attention and won’t let us go have dinner for five minutes without themleaving Van Horn, we were surprised to find it was snowing – my driving-in-snow experience is limited to once (in Houston), so it was a trip to drive through some fairly heavy snow on the interstate for about an hourlater that day, blue skies and sunshine in Arizona at Texas Canyon (shortly after taking this picture, I slid down the hill on my ass, unintentionally – only like 15 or 20 people saw it happen, so no biggie) (when you’re clumsy and take a tumble here and there, you learn/earn the ability to dust yourself off and hop up rather quickly, even though you scraped some skin off your palm and have a sore ass) (so, yay?)if you ever find yourself driving through the California desert and stop for expensive gas or a trip through the General Patton Memorial Museum in Chiriaco Summit, check to see if my sticker is still therethere’s something very exciting in this picture – no, not the Sizzler billboard, look behind it – DINOSAURS – what’s funny is in a conversation with my mother, we were talking about road trips where you just drive to get there as quickly as possible versus those where you take detours along the way – I said that one day I want to go on a road trip where I can stop at a dinosaur museum if I ever run across onefast forward a couple of days later, and we’re driving through southern California around lunch time – we were going to get a Fatburger (since it played a part in Ice Cube’s special day, we thought we’d give it a try) (though I consider a breakfast with no hog to be missing something) – my hand computer claimed there was one about 40 miles ahead – as we exited the highway, I saw these fellows – so we made a slight detour – sadly, there was only time for pictures and no tour – you can climb inside this brontosaurus and look through little round windowsthe t-rex was my favoriterobotic dinosaur museum cave – looks legitdon’t tell me what to doI’ll spare you the sentimentality, but it was great seeing our people – well worth the thousands of miles and close quarters with one dog that farts and another who has breath that can peel paint off the walls – maybe next time we’ll fly
Road trip memories are the best! Right up your alley or genre for the next screenplay. There is barely any work that has been written about the road……..
4 Comments.
I should be asleep right now but I keep having giggle fits. Transparent semi.
Ah, the memories of long gone days… Crystal, my life is no longer complete without your essays.
Then I guess I better step up my game, Harry. I always appreciate you stopping by.
Road trip memories are the best! Right up your alley or genre for the next screenplay. There is barely any work that has been written about the road……..