uh, no thanks?

Here’s an email I received in my blog’s inbox this morning (not my personal account):

Hi there – I’m emailing you to find out if you’d be interested in reviewing one of our new silicone female toys from (redacted) on your blog. My idea is this: I can send you a free (redacted) or comparable toy (you can Google it), and in exchange, you’d just write a review giving your honest thoughts about the toy, and of course somewhere in the article, link to our website or Amazon listings of the toys. If this project goes smoothly, there are probably other ways we could work together as well. My goal is to let people know about our new brand while providing you with the opportunity to write interesting content for your site. Also, I could give you a personalized discount code to leave in the review (if you like the toy), so that your readers could enjoy the same toy and also save money. So, just email me back and we can get started. I’m happy to answer any questions you have. Thanks!

I get these solicitations on a regular basis. Most of the time, they’re asking me to review something pregnancy or home-cleaning related–you know, things that my target audience and I are really interested in. One thing different about this one: the sender didn’t bcc his email list. So I checked out a few of the other bloggers who were lucky enough to receive this offer. They include:
  • sara_mclaughlin@___ (unless this is about sad puppies, she ain’t interested)
  • an “evangelism resources and more” site (guess that’s one way to praise the lord)
  • a chick who does nothing in her blog except review products (bingo)
  • a 17-year-old farm girl blogger (so, probably illegal to offer her a free sex toy?)
  • a single girl chronicling her online dating experiences (also, bingo)
  • a single Christian woman survival guide (because it’s hard out there for a pimp, and also for single Christian women)

Anything that I sing the praises of on this blog is something that I truly like and want to tell you about. So when the day comes that I tell you about the great silicone vibrator I’ve been using, you can be sure it is something that I purchased with my own dollars and really stand behind. I mean, uh…you know what I’m saying.

And, PS, what “other ways” could we work together? Maybe I send him a blog post, and he has it re-printed on a dildo?

4 Replies to “uh, no thanks?”

  1. Free dildo? Dude. Take that shit!

  2. “Work together”? More like, “If we can shine you into doing this for us, maybe we can get you to continue writing up free adverts for some of our other products!” Sort of like when a company has the promotion where they offer some pitiful prize for the person who can come up with their next ad slogan / marketing scheme. Amazing how many people eat that shit up.

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