Saw a commercial for zit medicine last night. The teenage girl (in her zit-free afterglow) says, in reference to her previously huge zit, “Do you sees it? ‘Cause I don’t sees it.” I thought the TV was acting up again, certain I misheard that, so I rewound the commercial a few moments. Yup. That’s what she said. I hope her zits come back as well as those of the writer who wrote that crap.
Lately I keep getting spam from “Adriana.” The whole thing is a venereal disease full of bad grammar (“i guess your not getting my messages”), text shortcuts (lots of LOLs and fake words like “cudn’t”) and talk about how horny she is and how she loves watching porn. Then comes the money shot, where she gets around to saying that she has her own webcam show. Then, because we’re such good friends, she provides a free code to watch her do her thing. The climax of the email is her begging the recipient not to share the password. “DON’T GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN I SEE U.” What a ridiculous set up. Seems like cutting to the chase would be just as effective: “Hey, perv, if you want to watch a few moments of free porn before we make you enter your credit card info, go here.” Maybe this is the guy’s version of Mr. Darcy. At least Jane Austen could spell.
The previously mentioned Chick-fil-A billboard is gone now, replaced with an inoffensive Conn’s billboard. So the rearrangement of cows will have to wait for another day. If I find out that Conn’s has some bullshit anti-gay agenda, maybe we can do something with their red dot.
I didn’t put up a Christmas tree the past two years, so I am more excited than usual to have one up this year. My ornament collection is a box of awesome. My mother’s parents collected ornaments for all of their grandkids each year. You received your box of ornaments when you turned 21 or got married. Good thing it wasn’t based just on the latter or I’d still be waiting. So I have this great collection of ’70s and ’80s ornaments coupled with the ones I’ve purchased over the years. I went through an unfortunate sun/moon phase, which found its way to my Christmas tree too, but those ornaments have mostly been phased out. Over the past few years I’ve been sure to buy ornaments when we travel. Since we rarely travel around Christmas time, this means that the things I use for ornaments had a different original purpose. It makes for a nostalgic tree, which, to me, is the whole point. I’ll never understand people who buy a bunch of matchy-matchy ornaments. Doesn’t have the same soul.