crack horse

a horse is a horse, of course, of course, that is, of course, unless the horse is on some fucking crack

We traveled up the country weekend before last to chill with Tohner’s family and bring my niece Molly a bunch of presents for her 1st birthday. Her special day fell on the Wednesday before our visit. Since she has not yet grasped the concept of time, nor has she learned to read a calendar, we were able to have a celebration with her a few days after the fact with no repercussions. And really, what kind of person gets mad when they get presents a few days late? Let me go on record stating that I’m happy to receive a present at any time.

Somewhere past Katy, we saw a truck and trailer combo. At first I thought there was some loose fabric on the front end of the trailer because I kept seeing something flapping around in the breeze that would disappear for a bit before popping back out again. As my car got closer to the trailer, I realized it wasn’t fabric. It was a horse’s head.

Though I’m a city girl, I did do my time in the country and have seen my share of horses in trailers on highways. And never have I seen a horse do what this horse was doing. It would stick its head through the window of the trailer, much like a dog in a car. But then it would do something very un-doglike. It would start jerking its head up and down. Vigorously.

The rhythm was this: head out the window, jerk up and down numerous times like the most ecstatic “yes” ever recorded, head back in the window. Wait a few seconds. Repeat. It was disturbing. Then sort of funny. Then back to disturbing. Evidently the guy in the car ahead of us was caught up in the action too because he stayed to the side and slightly behind the horse trailer. Once we’d been in this configuration for a bit, I was ready to move on. The guy in the car was not ready to move on. That’s because he was filming the horse.

Yes, the guy driving 70mph in the car ahead of us, who also had at least two dogs romping around in the front seat, was busy filming the horse dance to post on youtube or his blog or whatever. He wasn’t watching the road and barely noticed that he needed to merge behind the trailer because our lane was ending. I briefly considered filming the dude filming the horse, but I realized that was a bit too meta for my taste. Also, I sort of like keeping my eyes on the road when I’m driving.

Holy shite, I just searched youtube for “horse on freeway” to see if that jackass posted his video and ended up with this video instead. It was shot in Petaluma, California at the end of June. It’s exactly the same thing. The horse even looks like the horse we saw two weeks later in Texas. And here’s another horse doing its thang. Is there some sort of horses-on-crack epidemic that hasn’t made the news yet? Is the same brown horse with the white blaze traveling around the country freaking people out on the highway? What is going on here?

(further brief googling suggests that head nodding is an expression of horse stress – it’s a damn shame when even the horsies are stressed out) (it’s not like it is with cows, where the end of the ride in the trailer usually ends with death)

3 thoughts on “crack horse

  1. I’m not sure how much associative thinking horses are capable of (I imagine at least a bit, they’re pretty savvy), but it probably has something to do with some sort of unpleasant event at the end of the trailer ride (Rodeo events, or exhibition…) I heard a story from someone at the Alley (where else) about a cat someone had that went absolutely batshit crazy when they started packing to move. Racing around the house, attacking the owners, etc. Turned out that the cat’s previous owners were some college kids and moved and left it behind for whatever fate awaited it (in this case rescue and a new, better home). But as soon as it saw its new people packing it went right to the association of being abandoned and made its feelings known. Everything turned out fine, although I’m not sure how the fact that the cat was coming along was communicated to it (maybe just by the move itself).

  2. I’m guessing the Brookshire merge, where the left lane goes away, is the one you’re talking about. As for the horse, the head shaking thing may not be very dog-like, but it is definitely very horse-like. I’ve seen many horses do it, many times. The majority of horse communication (as well as most other animals) is conveyed through body language.

    1. You are correct – the merge in Brookshire or thereabouts. I’ve seen horses do the head nodding thing, sure, but not out the window of a trailer that was traveling 70 down the highway.

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