take a letter, Maria

Address it to my PO Box (3861 Houston 77253)…Include a self-addressed stamped envelope…I’ll send you a Fight Stupidization sticker. That’s what Debra did, and she will get her sticker this week. Debra was, in fact, the VERY FIRST PERSON to send mail (on purpose) to the Fight Stupidization mailbox. Debra, if you’re reading this, thank you. I hope you enjoy your sticker.

In other news, there have been some amazing search terms bringing people to this site lately. I feel compelled to share just a few from the past 30 days.

  • kids make comments that make me want to punch them
  • puke on her desk, cut off my balls, changed to a fighter jet, bombed the russians, fly to the moon, explode, like a baws
  • was lucille ball a crackhead
  • everytime i go for a pap smear i feel embase becau gas com out
  • things that will cause your eyes to get misaligned
  • pulling tricks with my little brother on steam
  • sexy black woman covered in bbq sauce
  • walmart lady tucks titties into pants
  • big sur nude hiker
  • accidentally saw his schlong
  • i go hard in the mutha fuckin kitchen useing bavy bottles for the lean wify say im trippn
  • “bug in” navel
  • antique inadvertent male crotch shots
  • half eaten orange in fridge
  • aliens implanted chips on the douchebags bluetooth
  • cycling you get used to the nut hugging shorts
  • guy grabbed my butt in jr.high
  • crystal jackson vampire
  • things that make barack obama happy

As always, the search terms are way more interesting than this blog. With some of the searches, I know exactly which post they hit upon. With others (the second one, for instance), I have no clue. And all I can say about my fellow humans who are looking for this kind of shit – what did you do before the internet? Worry incessantly about the bug in your navel? Pay a sexy black woman to cover herself with barbecue sauce? Wonder for the rest of your life if Lucy was a crackhead? Though I don’t think you found a lot of answers here, I hope you found them somewhere.

3 Replies to “take a letter, Maria”

  1. This week, my best weren’t nearly as good as yours: “shop vac rat carcass,” and “mushroom with evil smell.” But a few weeks ago, I got “are multiple stab wounds personal messages?” and “Richard Nixon feminism.” Also, people are dying to know how to keep pie crusts from getting soggy, if my blog is any indication.

  2. Oddly enough, I’ve actually run in to a naked hiker, though I ws not in Big Sur at the time.

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