called for jury duty, 2005

I’m off today. Sitting at home, waiting for my new desktop to arrive. Since my computer will have a clean slate, I thought the room it will live in should be focused on the present/future. Old projects need to be completed or let go. I spent the first half of the day going through more than two dozen notebooks and journals from the past couple of decades. I was able to part with quite a few by tearing out the things I wanted to keep and letting the rest go. I’ve run across all sorts of goodies including entries about old boyfriends, phone numbers that don’t include the area code, big plans for the future (some of which happened while others slowly slipped out of the room and took a cab home), to do lists, poems, stories, dog names, vacation destinations, Christmas lists…

In one of the notebooks, I ran across notes from my jury duty experience in mid-2007. Not only was this the first time I was chosen to sit on a jury (I’ve sat on another since), this was the first time anyone in my family had been chosen. Yay? Here are my notes. Verbatim (including typos).

– I never get picked for jury duty. That means I probably wouldn’t get trial by jury of my peers. Who is more my peer than me?
– Most of the people in this room are white.
– I should have worn flip flops.
– There are a lot of pedestrians downtown before 8AM.
– I wonder if having a high juror # means you’re less likely to get picked? Like during the Vietnam draft.
– How many trials are there each day?
– A guy on the row in front of me keeps scratching his dandruff and looking under his fingernails. He also licks his finger before turning page.
– Why do some people (women) let their big toenail get really long? The one I’m looking at is painted, so that means she’s looked at it recently.
– Cell phones keep going off. I’m about to go off.
– Two people next to me are actually having a fairly interesting conversation. Before they started talking, he kept looking over at me. I avoided eye contact because I assumed it would be inane conversation.
– That guy is still scratching his dandruff.
– They haven’t called any juror #s in about 30 minutes. What gives?
– Men w/man boobs shouldn’t wear clingy knits.
– Wonder what gay men think about man boobs?
– It’s like we’re all waiting for someone to get out of surgery.
– People with facial tics that make them look like psychopaths should be disqualified from jury duty.
– Now I’m one of 65 (for a panel, I guess). We’re standing in a hallway on the 19th floor of the criminal courts building. The guy next to me a) reeks of alcohol – the smell the day after when you start sweating it out (from a rough night), b) he has a big bump and gash on his head that’s still somewhat open – must have been one helluva night, I’m saying.
– I really wore the wrong shoes today. My feet are killing me already (it’s only 11:22).
– I though voire dire was pronounced “vwah deer.”
– There are a number of people on this panel with remarkable eyes (other aspects might not be so remarkable…) (or are remarkable, but not in a good way).
– I wonder how many of these 64 people are my “peers” – looks can be deceiving. I’m in a suit, for instance.

2 thoughts on “called for jury duty, 2005

  1. I “shared” this on FB. All my lawyer friends will find it hilarious. If you say “Vwya Deer” the judge will look at you all types of crazy. In Texas we say “Vore Dyer.” Kinda like “San Fillipee” or “San Jacinta.”

  2. I once got called to jury duty three times in an 18 month period. It was back when they only drew names from the registered voter list, so I imagine that they were getting pretty low on names back then. I was rocking the long locks back then, so I never worried getting picked.

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