you bet your biffy and other news

While perusing a travel catalog that arrived in the mail, I ran across an item called a “biffy bag.” It’s a personal disposable toilet. I couldn’t understand how it works, exactly, because it looks like a trash bag with a piece of foil attached to it. After a google, I was happy to find this helpful information page on the product’s website. You tie the top of the biffy bag around your waist then pull the other part between your legs and tuck into the top, let ‘er rip into the hanging bag, wipe, put your pants back on and you’re done. The website lists numerous situations in which this might be useful including long car trips when you don’t want to stop. I may like to burn miles, but I would much rather stop at the next Buc-ee’s than be in a car with someone who’s shitting into a fancy trash bag in the seat next to me.

While getting my oil changed yesterday, I was surprised to note that the garage employee who drove my car in and out of the bay doesn’t know how to drive a stick shift. He wasn’t letting out the clutch enough to really drive the car and was barely able to get it up on the racks. Then when he backed it out of the bay and pulled it in front for me, he almost hit the little old lady who was sitting there waiting for her car. I wonder if his coworkers make fun of him. Maybe I should offer some free tutoring (though not in my car).

I got my oil changed in the Heights because I still return there for a number of basic services. I spent decades finding the places I like, so it’s easier to go back there than start over where I live now. The construction all over the neighborhood sucks, though. Guess the roads are worn out from all of the valet-only restaurants and nanny traffic that arrived with the most recent yuppie invasion.

Speaking of the neighborhood, check out this video of Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers) defending support of public television back in the ’60s. How rare to hear someone speak with such deliberation, and even more rare for that person to be listened to and treated with kindness and respect. Can you imagine that scenario playing out in today’s climate? Today, someone would yell “He’s a LIAR” while others would be busy checking their email or playing Angry Birds. “What do you do with the mad that you feel / When you feel so mad you could bite?” Indeed, Mr. Rogers, we don’t seem to know anymore.

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One response to “you bet your biffy and other news”

  1. I need a biffy bag for my brain. I got Heinlein and Vonnegut in there making a ruckus right now. The later says our bodies program our brains with bad chemicals because we have no tribal community to belong to. The former says our systems of civilization are breaking down because there are too many of us on this ball of rock. The first sure sign of the end is lack of civility in society in general. Meanwhile Momar & Kim Jong are sizing each other up, wondering who will be 2011’s Meglomaniac of the year. Where is my whiskey?

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