oh, people

My employer emailed an electronic card today to our members that said “Happy Holidays” and featured an image of Grover and a little kid standing in a snowy field and looking up in amazement as animated snow falls. It’s a delightful picture full of childlike wonder, sure to soothe even the more hardened hearts among us. But evidently not all. Here’s a message immediately received in response to this cute holiday greeting:

it’s Christmas you pagan idiot.

Well, Merry Fucking Christmas to you, asshole. For one, the person who created and emailed the greeting is Jewish. For two, most of us – including my non-religious ass – are aware that Christmas has pagan roots.  Perhaps the crank who felt so moved to send a nasty message should spend a little more time reading up on his religion and a little less time being outraged.

And another step toward the idiocracy is taken… (This is why I’m not the person who responds to complaints over here.)

In other Christmas news, I was happy to purchase a Sit-N-Spin for my nephew, who is not yet two. (Funny coincidence – were I allowed to respond to the guy mentioned above, my message would include the phrase “sit-n-spin.”)  The gifts I got Rowan tie my childhood to his:

  • A Sit-N-Spin for old school action. Remember when we were kids (oh brother) and the upper disc of the S-N-S had a swirl design that turned into a never-ending spiral when you were in motion, thus adding to the trippiness of the experience? It’s gone. Today’s S-N-S is just solid colors. Bore-ring. Of course, these days kids probably place their iPods or mini-DVD players on the top part, so they wouldn’t see the spiral anyway. (Get off my lawn!)
  • A “laptop” for modern times. The age ranges on toys really give insight into how different kids are (or how differently they’re treated) now compared to 20, 30 or 40 years ago. The toys for two- and three-year-olds are highly technical, requiring dexterity and an understanding of electronics that I probably didn’t have until I was in third grade. The next generation may end up not knowing how to write in complete sentences, but even the most dim-witted of their group will be able to program the flight path of the space shuttle (if that program hadn’t been shit-canned in our era).
  • Clothes. The typical boring relative gift. I’ll back off the clothes buying once the kids are old enough to get it. I want to be the cool aunt, not the one who gives them socks and a sweater. But baby clothes are so fun to buy. That’s about all that Molly is receiving. She’s only five months, so she’s not quite ready for the laptop. Maybe a fake cellphone…

I should have time to write tomorrow because I’ll be one of, like, three people at work. But in case I don’t, Merry Fucking Christmas and Happy Goddamn New Year.


7 thoughts on “oh, people

  1. I personally am offended by your employer’s insensitivity to people with seasonal affective disorder who are anything but happy during the holidays.

    1. PS Why would they get rid of the trippy swirls on the Sit-n-Spin?? Glad to hear they still make them though-haven’t seen one in years!

  2. i actually had a friend get pissed at how crappy the new sit-n-spins are and did a ton of research and found an old school sit-n-spin on ebay.

    1. Hilarious. Since all the design requires is a sticker or two, I can’t imagine why the current version doesn’t employ the spiral motif. I’ll check things out more closely on Christmas morning and see if I’m missing something.

  3. I attended my nephew Brayden’s 2nd birthday party last Sunday and my brother gave him one of those toy computers, only to find that he already has one. My sister said, “No problem, we’ll just save it for Bryan” (his little brother that will turn one in March) and I had to inform her that by the time Brayden outgrows the toy computer, Bryan will be just about ready to take it over. My ‘lil sis still hasn’t quite gotten a grasp of the concept of “hand-me-down”.

  4. I have a “friend” who gets pisses off when the cards say anything other than Merry Christmas…cuz this is America dammit. So I sent her a happy kwanza card this year. You know who I’m talking about.

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