I do not think it means what you think it means

When I saw that a political campaign’s website – specifically John Faulk for Congress (he’s a Republican vying for Sheila Jackson Lee’s spot) – linked to last night’s blog entry, saying I was surprised would be an understatement. Did his staff actually look around my site at all? Or are they just randomly grabbing negative comments about SJL off the web and posting them? Come on, man. It’s well known that Lee gets in front of any camera she can. I was just going for the joke. And it was funny, so I have no regrets.

Anyway, in light of this information, I thought I’d share some information about Mr. Faulk. Here’s a quote from a news profile about him.

Faulk reflects, “I was fat and happy in my Lazyboy when God reached down and pulled me out of that chair to go and do something.   I don’t know if God wants me to win, but He does want me to run.”  Faulk adds, “He’s using me for something.  Maybe to get the ball rolling.”

Oh. Out of all of the missions in the world that God could have chosen for Mr. Faulk, He chose this. Didn’t slip the cure for cancer into his hand while he was napping. Didn’t inspire him to write a poem of such heartbreaking beauty and forgiveness and love that it caused all wars to immediately cease. Didn’t even give him a good baked chicken recipe. Nope. Just asked him to give SJL a run for her money.

The article continues to quote Mr. Faulk as saying that Planned Parenthood is “carrying out genocide against African Americans.” Did God tell him that, too? His website says he “wants to get business out of government and government out of business.” Shame that hands off approach doesn’t extend to a woman’s uterus.

Hey, Mr. Faulk, God told me to tell you that he meant for you to become a Civil War reenactor, and that you should play either Jackson or Lee. He says He’s sorry for the misunderstanding and has refluffed your Lazyboy.

[addendum: There’s only ever been one proven case of men being on a mission from God. They even made a documentary about it.]

6 Replies to “I do not think it means what you think it means”

  1. I seems to me that Mr. Faulk doesn’t necessarily want to kick ALL business out of government, he just wants religion to have a monopoly in government.

  2. I got a snarky comment from Faulk’s campaign communications director on my blog awhile back –

    1. Whoops – hit enter instead of something else – anyway, perhaps snarky is not the best way to describe his comment. Obnoxious and ridiculous is more like it. Faulk is one of those pseudo-conservatives who believes that government should be so small that it fits inside a woman’s uterus. He needs to get back to the recliner STAT.

  3. Hey Buttercup, do you ever find yourself wondering whether your readers get the movie line references in your titles? Or do you just make an assumption? If the latter, which do you assume, that they get it or they don’t?

    1. I have no idea whether or not people recognize the lines from movies and poems and rap lyrics that I often use for titles. Sometimes they relate directly to the post, and other times they are just whatever pops into my head when it’s time to write the title. You obviously got this one.

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