there will be bacon

bacon + booze = party

Back in May, my theatre company performed in the Houston Fringe Festival. Being a co-op, we generally split all income from our shows (minus expenses). When we received the check for our Fringe performances, we decided to throw a little get-together at my house rather than give each of the 7 actors, 2 playwrights and 1 director a small check.

As I prepared the menu for the gathering, I tried to keep the attendees’ various dietary needs in mind. One person is vegetarian, another doesn’t do dairy or pork, others only eat things that are unhealthy…a variety of requirements, in other words. So I went from one end of the culinary spectrum to the other. A little something for everyone.

The menu:

  • fresh fruit
  • hummus and fresh vegetables
  • black eyed pea salad
  • 7 layer dip
  • little sandwiches (brisket, homemade green onion/cheese)
  • artichoke dip
  • various sweets
  • two pork death

That last one might be of interest to you, if for no reason other than science. There is a very simple hot appetizer recipe that I found online – over 7,000 people rated this recipe as five stars (out of five), so I thought I’d check it out. Here it is – wrap a little smokie in 1/3 piece of bacon. Stab with a toothpick and place on a cookie sheet. Sprinkle brown sugar over the top. Bake those bitches for 40 minutes at 325 degrees, turning them over halfway through. Place them in a crock pot on low to keep warm, if they last that long.

If you can get past the utter ridiculousness of the things, what you will find is a little piece of pork candy on a toothpick. Everyone (except the vegetarian) loved them. Even people who normally eat healthy food were taking a gander (with perhaps the smallest glint of humiliation in their eye). I don’t know if I’ll ever make them again, but they were certainly a big hit.

This week James and I will be eating fish and vegetables and lean turkey to try to get the blood flowing again.

I HAVE NO REGRETS.

5 Replies to “there will be bacon”

  1. Well,

    “Let’s not burden our remembrance with a heaviness that’s gone.”
    William Shakespeare

    Buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrp. Aaaaahhhhhhh.

  2. That sounds ludicrously awesome, even more so than Bacon wrapped Bacon-of-the-Sea (Shrimp). Definitely gonna have to make a batch and render my opinion (with friends, of course – I am neither a glutton nor suicidal).

  3. I heard a woman once recount how in her early twenties she started wondering who in the world decided two strips of bacon was an adequate serving, that amount never satisfied her desire for bacon. So she decided to devout a Sunday morning to finding out how much was enough bacon. She said 4 pounds did the trick for her! I have no idea if she is still alive or if they now use her arteries to reinforce concrete.

    A … em…”healthier” version of pork candy can be achieved the same way as the pork death, but use a pitted date instead of the little smokie and omit the sugar as the date is plenty sweet. But beware of the molten lava effect if you grab one that is still too hot!

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