My brother Mason was a bacon aficionado. He loved (and ingested) the stuff more than seemed possible for such a slim guy. I still remember when he excitedly shared the news that there was a place near College Station that served…deep fried bacon. As in, bacon that was battered and dropped in the deep fryer. In this modern age of fried butter and fried coke, deep fried bacon doesn’t seem that exotic. But this was a few years ago, before America had completely given up and just strapped the permanent feed bag to its mouth. We talked about taking a trip to this magical bacon wonderland, but, like many plans in life cooked up over too many beers, never actually made it there.
All this to say, when Dennis and I went to Christian’s Tailgate for burgers today and Dennis spotted “Country Fried Bacon Burger” on the menu, it seemed a crime not to give it a try. As the title of this post suggested, the Country Fried Bacon Burger is an example of all that is wrong (and yet so, so right) with this country. One of Christian’s already large burgers was topped with all the usual trimmings PLUS about three pieces of battered and fried bacon PLUS two onion rings. I’m almost regurgitating as I type.
You can see the sheer height of the burger in the shot above. No way my dainty mouth was getting around that thing. So I removed the fried materials from the burger to munch on the side. I was disappointed in the bacon. It seemed to have been thrown in the fryer raw, so it was limp and chewy. The breading was a little too thick, too. I have no idea what voodoo is necessary to deep fry something like bacon, but it seems to me that at least partially cooking it first would make the bacon feel better in the mouth, taste better and allow for less of the batter to be stuck to the outside. Hard to believe there can be overkill on something as ridiculous as deep fried bacon, but overkill there was. Too much breading.
As per usual, Christian’s burger was still very tasty, though I only ate about half of it. The majority of my country fried bacon sat wilted and forlorn in my little red burger basket. Though the bacon didn’t live up to the fantasy, I’m glad I tried it. Instead of pouring some out for my homie who isn’t here, I ate a piece of ridiculousness in his honor.