seven year bitch (not really)

As of this weekend, James and I have been together for seven years. That’s a long time. To celebrate, we went out to dinner. A foursome sat down at the table next to us, and one of the men proudly proclaimed to have “both Aspergers and ADHD.” He appeared to be with his mother. The other couple might have been his sister with a guy she hasn’t been dating for a long time OR his sister with a guy she HAS been dating for a long time but has kept away from the Aspergers/ADHD brother for as long as possible. Other than seeming to be rather self-involved and obnoxious (saying the word “mayonnaise” in every permutation he could think of, over and over), the guy was just like any other boring 45-year-old balding white guy on a double date with his mom.

Aspergers is one of the disorders du jour. In my over-simplified understanding, it is something that is not as serious as autism and is mostly centered around having shitty social skills. If the latter is the key to diagnosis, we all suffer from Aspergers here and there. Case in point: I went to a barbecue yesterday. There were quite a few people I’d never met before at the party. Though they looked like perfectly lovely, intelligent people, I had little interest in talking to them. One woman approached me, James and Robert and engaged us in a chat. We talked to her for a while. After she walked off, I realized that I just wasn’t in the mood to meet new people.

Do you ever get like that? Sometimes I really enjoy talking to someone whose bullshit I don’t know and who doesn’t know my bullshit. Then at other times, I’m reminded of that Seinfeld where Jerry talked about not really being interested in getting any new friends. That the friends you have at, say, 30 or 40 are pretty much the people you’re stuck with, and you’re no longer “interviewing” new people. I guess it just depends on my mood. I used up all my chatty stuff when we had our show last weekend and didn’t have any juice left. And I’m not saying any of these people wanted to be my new best friend. I’m just saying that I didn’t have the brain juice to have conversations with strangers and was more inclined to shoot the shit with the guy I live with and one of my oldest friends.

This doesn’t mean I have Aspergers. Maybe just that I have Assholers.

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