sweet, sweet torture, bitches, coffee

I just started writing what may or may not end up being the play I produce in the Houston Fringe Festival, and it may or may not involve a bit of boss torture. I’ve found it somewhat cathartic to consider the various non-bloody ways to torture bosses from my past (my current boss is awesome) (I’m not being sarcastic – she’s a personal friend) (as opposed to a “work” friend, who is generally someone you wouldn’t talk to outside of the office because the only thing you have in common is work, and who wants to talk about that shit when you’re having “free” time) (it’s the same as having an “elevator” friend – you know, someone you bond with because you’re both stuck on the elevator, only after you’re free there’s really nothing else to talk about except how shitty it was to be stuck on that elevator).

Here’s a link a friend of mine posted on facebook today. It lists the various types of “bitches,” according to an angry and somewhat precocious third-grader. Or, a third grader who has an older sibling. Let’s see…I would fall into the following categories of bitch: 18, 26-28, 62 (after lunch) and 68 (if I had a store).

Curious about the blogger who posted this list, I googled his name and ran across another entry of his detailing a bad experience at a coffee shop. Funny how what he probably considered to be a throwaway blog entry blew up into something else. I mean, the Washington Post covered the story. Then again, look at (fill in name of stupid politician/whorish, drunken young actress/person interrupting someone at awards show). We are a nation of minutiae-watchers and big picture ignorers.

(and PS – when I was a bartender and someone ordered something that was just wrong, like scotch and tonic with a lime, I’d serve it to them with a smile and then make fun of them when they walked away – I would never refuse to serve someone something just because I thought it was against nature) (that’s kind of the whole point of the service industry) (there sure were a lot of parentheses in this blog today)