– The people who just a couple of weeks ago were bitching and moaning about the cold weather are now bitching about the humidity. They will find no sympathy with me either direction. I was enjoying the cold snap. And 100 percent humidity with 70 degree temps is also fine. Any change from the 99 degrees with wet, heavy air of Houston’s long summer is welcome.
– I had a dream last night that I was walking to my car around 2 in the morning, leaving a bar, when a guy I determined to be “bad” came up to me and started hassling me. I stabbed him in the side of the head with a blue Bic pen. I ran to my car and looked at the piece of paper he’d given me before I stabbed him – he was trying to sell me candles and body oil. Figure that one out.
– I’m learning that there’s no rhyme or reason to this grieving business. It’s like a shitty rollercoaster. Some days you’re going up, though it’s not exciting or fast and the view kind of sucks, and some days you’re going down, down, though the descent is slow and you’re not looking forward to reaching the bottom. I was getting worried that I wasn’t doing it “right,” but I realized from talking to other people that there is no right way. You feel what you feel when you feel it. That’s the long and short of it.
– Leaving UH last week I drove past an old panel truck that was covered with propaganda. Tip to tail. I think it was supposed to be mostly anti-choice (judging by the large pictures of feti with “don’t kill me” underneath), but there was also a larger-than-life picture of two men kissing with the caption “sodomy is birth control” or something like that and then the quaint “AIDS = death.” I’m not sure if I’m getting any of this right. It was a lot to take in while also keeping my car on the road. Though I looked when I drove past, I already knew it would be an old white man. I didn’t count on how hillbilly he looked. I mean, he spelled abortion and sodomy right and somehow had the wherewithal to locate and then affix a huge picture of two half-naked dudes kissing. But when you looked at him…Cletus. He was probably ramping up for the big rally those fools had in front of the new Planned Parenthood building on Monday. I gave him a big laugh as I drove by. He looked at me with disdain and then went back to fantasizing about fucking his chainsaw or dipping dog shit or barbecuing his neighbors. Whatever scary business he’s trying to hide from everyone by putting all that bullshit on his truck.