The Heights – by the numbers

Tonight will be the last night I spend in my house in the Heights. Tomorrow I’ll be sleeping in a different house in a completely different part of town. More on that later. As a farewell to the place that has been my ‘hood for half my life, I thought I’d do a recap by the numbers.

*consecutive years in the Heights: 17
*places lived: 2
*boyfriends consumed: 4 (the last one is still kicking)
*plays written: 5
*vows to become vegetarian: 1
*months spent vegetarian: 1.5
*bicycles stolen from me: 2
*bicycles stolen by me: 0
*jobs held: 14
*dogs raised: 3
*children raised: 0
*average number of bags of candy given out each Halloween: 8
*speeding tickets: 1 (on my 30th birthday)
*complaints about valet-only restaurants and the destruction of bungalows wrought by the yuppies: is infinity a number?
*4th of Julys spent on the Sawyer Street bridge watching the fireworks while straddling a bike and openly sipping a beer: ~10
*4th of Julys spent standing on the sidewalk in front of Satellite Lounge watching the fireworks and surreptitiously sipping a beer: 1
*hurricanes that arrived as expected: 1
*tropical storms that stranded me on the other side of I-10 overnight: 1
*family holidays hosted: 4
*burns from hosting family holidays while drinking too much wine: 1
*memories made: innumerable

I’ll miss you, old friend. But I’ve got shit to do.


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