raise up off these N.U.T.s

(Written last week)
For a while now I’ve been decidedly avoiding knowing something on a conscious level. It’s been taunting me, trying to pipe up on occasion, but I’ve managed to suppress the thought. Until now. It’s time I faced it, no matter how scary the reality of it is.

For whatever ungodly reason, the play that I’m trying to write (the full length) wants a couple of SONGS. NO! NO! NO! I think this is why I haven’t made any progress on the script over the past couple of months. I have five or six scenes written. I know the other three or four scenes that need to be written. But I’m stuck. And I keep coming back to this horrible, horrible thought that there’s a little song and dance number that is dying to be added to the end of scene one. And in one of the scenes that I haven’t put on paper yet.

You have no idea how upsetting this is. I don’t want to write that kind of play. I don’t know how to write that kind of play. But, evidently, I have to write that kind of play just to get this thing into somewhat of a finished format. My hope is that I’ll add whatever songs (!) I have to and in so doing will unblock myself and get on with it. Then, hopefully, I can remove the songs from the final version of the script, and it can be our little secret.

(written today)
I had jury duty yesterday. That process involved me sitting in the jury room from 9:30AM until 2:45PM waiting to be dismissed. We did get a one-hour break for lunch, so I ate in the basement of the police station next door. It was just as lovely as it sounds. A trustee looked at me funny, so I shivved him. I always care a spare shiv in my backpack, just in case. They’re quite useful.

While sitting there waiting, I spent some time working on this musical bullshit. And boy did the ideas fly. Always a sign that I’m on the right path. I even came up with a few lines. They are marvelously dark and ridiculous. No one will ever want to produce this thing, but I can tell that I’m going to have fun writing it. It’s always good to expand your horizons, so, if nothing else, this is a writing exercise. And I still hope the songs can be cut out of the play later without harming the overall structure. We’ll see.

I’m just happy to be moving forward again. Maybe this is why my headache went away.

[I obviously had such a hard time with this idea that I couldn’t even post this blog when I originally wrote it. Now that some funny (and appropriate for the story) ideas are coming, I feel better about it. Somewhat.]