Ask a Dilettante – Why So Quiet, Poopie?

Um, are the democrats sleeping right now or what? Did someone kidnap them? Or maybe give them a ruffie? I’m being serious.
– Steph, Houston

Hhmmm…good question. They (and by “they,” I’m referring to Obama and Biden) have been noticeably quiet for the past week or so. I have a few theories as to why this is.

1 – Perhaps they are letting the hubbub die down over the hypocrite-with-striped-hair, assuming the media will eventually tire of running the same pit bull/moose hunting/camel toe stories and start talking about real news. Since the Rovian tactic of not putting her in front of the media is working like a charm – they’re getting lots of free advertising without letting the world know just what a dumbfuck this hick is – I think it’s time for a reevaluation.

2 – Perhaps they think that the American public is just toying with McCain and his “ticket for the same, wait, I mean change, yeah, change,” knowing that the people who live in this great country are smart enough to see that the choice of the white trash grandmother was purely to distract from McCain’s strong (90% same voting record) support of the policies (failed) of GWB. I think it’s time for a reevaluation.

3 – Perhaps they have become disgusted by a slack-jawed public that is (if the conservative media can be trusted) responding in a positive manner to someone who’s good at toting the party line and regurgitating (performing) words but has no substance of her own. Maybe they’ve just said fuck it, if the majority of the country is really this retarded, let them have it. Let all of the jobs go to China. Let the gas crisis bankrupt most everyone (of course, not special people like the failed CEO of Freddie Mac, who just walked away with a $24 million severance [sorry, that was the guy from five years ago – the guy this year is only getting $14.1 million] while the rest of the country is bailing out the businesses they fucked up). Let them think they’re “fiscal conservatives” when the economy is at its shittiest when the Republicans are in office. Let them talk about a “hands off” government that is not only telling women what they can do with their bodies, it is also listening to our phone conversations, reading our emails and peeking in our windows at our tepid sex lives, which are boring because we’re all so tired from ingesting high fructose corn syrup and trans fats.

Maybe it’s time for America to reevaluate.

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