I always knew I’d write a subject line like that, but I never thought it’d be about a car. Especially since every car I’ve owned has been either blue or gray. This one is black mica, and she sparkles in the sunshine. There’s another name for the color of this car: heybirdsshithere. That one’s not as catchy. So, yeah, the car is only clean for about fifteen minutes after I wash it and then dust gets on it, or bird shit or tree pollen. But man, for that fifteen minutes, it’s freaking beautiful.