getting old

Last night was a small Houstonist gathering at Rudyard’s. Just four of us – three of us in our 30s (and all Aries, randomly – the weird thing about that is that out of the seven or eight “regular” writers for that site, five of us are Aries – one guy and I were born, literally, four days apart) and one chick who is 19. She did not drink alcohol, for the record. Though the teenager is very bright and articulate, there is still a generation gap or two. So I thought it would be fun to tell her what’s going to happen to her physically in another 10 or 15 years.

I told her that after you hit 30, random hair(s) grows out of your chin. I hope she noted the fact that I am NOT a hairy person and in fact only have blonde hair on my arms. I told her that she will be washing her hair in the shower with her head tilted back – a yawn will come on – she will release that yawn while keeping her head back, and she will experience great pain. Perhaps even pull a muscle. Jason (another person in his mid-thirties, though lower mid than I) warned her of violent sneezes that lead to slipped discs.

She seemed properly mortified, so I didn’t go into the whole gravity thing.