After a week of not sleeping and drinking way too much and riding the emotional roller coaster, it was great just chilling at home this weekend. I spent all day yesterday cleaning out old business (literally, not necessarily figuratively). I threw away two and a half trash bags stuffed mostly with paper. I am a complete and total packrat when it comes to the written word. I’ve had a big bag of books to take to Half-Price sitting in the front bedroom for at least six months. It’s not like I haven’t been to that store. I just haven’t taken the books. I think I am subconsciously unwilling to let them go. I hope some day I have a huge room in my house dedicated to just books. Rows and rows of books. Then I won’t have to worry every time I come home from the bookstore about where in the hell I’m going to put these damn things (after I’m done putting them in my brain).
As for the cleaning out, I threw away all of the scripts I collected during three different playwriting semesters at UH. I threw away receipts for things I purchased years ago and no longer own. I kept user manuals for every electronic item in the house, even things that have been in my life for years and I pretty much know how to use (or, I know as much about them as I ever will – I don’t plan on getting any closer to my DVD player, for instance – we’re just friends). I threw away multiple copies of my own scripts. Old greeting cards. Bills that were paid years ago, back when I didn’t do everything online. Kept the copies of old tax returns, though they too are completed online. On and on.
Then last night, I didn’t drink. Didn’t go out. Didn’t make small talk. Didn’t have to do anything except just sit there with the dogs, watch some TV that I can’t even remember, and zone out. It was GREAT. Today, I’ve taken my renewed energy to get some ideas that have been percolating for some time down on paper. Well, not paper really. I’ve been putting them down on the Mac. In order to find the word processing program, I dicked around with my computer for a while. Opened this and that program. There are some cool games on here. I’m not much of a gamer (having ended my dominion in the gaming world with the first Mario Bros.). But I was pleased to find that there are a lot of programs I didn’t know I have.
When it was time to eat dinner, I put the computer to sleep because I was still writing. Woke her up after dinner, and I noticed the little green light next to the camera was on. I haven’t used the computer’s camera, so the green light really stood out to me. I thought perhaps I’d turned on photo booth, a program I don’t get. Why do you need an entire program just to take pictures of yourself sitting at your computer? Besides the obvious home-porn/voyeur bullshit. Seems odd to me. Anyway, I tried opening that program thinking it was causing the light to be on, but it wouldn’t open until I closed the other program that was using the camera.
I wasn’t using a program that utilized the camera. At least, not knowingly. So I was suddenly swimming in my great fear about big bro watching me through that little hole above my computer screen. I couldn’t find an open program, other than the word processing one I was using, so I shut this bitch down and started over. So far, no little green light. So far. But I’m watching.