morningwood

Stella has a strained muscle and has been in a little pain, so I decided to give her half a baby aspirin this morning. Wanting to make sure she wouldn’t have a bad reaction to the pill (being a dog and not a baby), I stayed home for a couple of hours to keep an eye on her. I was feeling lazy, so she and I cuddled up on the couch and watched the morning news. The news ended and then those fucking horrible morning shows started. I never see them because I’m at work when they’re on, and if I’m not at work when they’re on I’m doing something other than watching bad TV. I saw the Tyra Banks show for the first time. It was as vacuous as I expected it would be, but it had a little something I wasn’t expecting. She was talking to a woman about fashion, and then she launched into this thing about Dove deodorant. She was trying to talk about it like it was a girlfriend thing. “Girl, you know you hate those awful white marks on your blouse. Well, with Dove deodorant, you don’t have to worry no more. Girl.” [then she snaps] Only she was stumbling over her words in what I hope was a display of shame for doing a spot in the middle of her show. Not like the Tyra Banks show is a pinnacle of infotainment or whatever the hell category those shows belong in, but still. And it went on…and on…and on… By the end of it, not only was I sure I would never buy Dove deodorant, I also made a mental note that the next time I see the Tyra Banks show on TV, I am going to jump out the nearest window and run screaming and naked down the street. Or just change the channel. Six of one.