There’s a disease that’s been going around my department for some time now. The chicks I work with overuse two words: excited/exciting and perfect. Whenever we have a meeting and discuss what’s going on in our respective areas, everything is exciting. I’m so excited about this. This new opportunity is exciting. The word (in its various forms) has lost all meaning. The state of excitement has now become the normal state of being and is therefore no longer exciting.

And then there’s perfect. When you tell someone something and she replies “perfect,” you feel like you’ve really gotten it right. But then you hear her use the word when a particularly ignant idea is brought to the table. You realize that “perfect” is used to end a conversation more than it is to show support of an idea.

Person One: Here’s what I want to do blah blah blah…
Person Two (interrupting): Perfect.

See how you are able to cut Person One off without being rude? Person One can’t get mad at you because you have just given her a great compliment. You have also let her know that you don’t need to hear any more of her idea because you feel she’s on the right track and has it wired. This of course isn’t true. You just want her to shut up and leave you alone because you are working on some exciting projects that make you excited.

In an attempt to make our department not come across as Polly Fucking Annas, I brought this issue to the group. I told them that when we have our company-wide meeting each month and we report on what’s going on in our area, we sound like assholes when we say the word “excited” fifteen times in a three-minute span. So now they are overly worried about saying the word, to the point that they have to slow down and think about what is coming out of their mouths. That’s a good idea in any situation. Words mean things.

And they told me I say “fuck” too much, so we all have our little verbal projects to work on. Fuckers.

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