yeah, you little bitch

Yesterday I’m sitting in the front bedroom, early evening, working on my Houstonist column when I see a cracked-out looking white guy walking up the sidewalk. I have both windows completely uncovered to let the last of the beautiful day inside, and this leaves me totally exposed to this dude who’s on the porch. So when he knocks on the door, I can’t just pretend like nobody’s home. The dogs go nuts, and the big dog sounds like she’s a) part devil and b) ready to eat this guy. Both are somewhat true. I yell through the closed door and over the din of the dogs, “What do you want?” He yells back, “Open the door.”

Uh, no. I had an immediate bad vibe when this guy walked up to the house, so no fucking way I’m opening the door.

I say, “What do you want?” once again. He says something about how he’s “looking for work.” I tell him there’s nothing for him at my house and he needs to move on. He leaves, and I watch him walk down the street and around the corner, not stopping at any other house on the block to inquire about employment. I KNEW it. I KNEW there was something shady about this guy. After he left, I started thinking that perhaps I shouldn’t sit here with the shades open when it’s starting to get dark outside because that might be inviting trouble. What bullshit. I’m not going to live my life like that. Fuck it.

So I just got home from Onion Creek, and on the way back I saw a cop car with lights flashing on the side of Studemont. You never really see anyone getting pulled over on that street (knock wood), so I was checking it out. As I got closer, I saw the cop had not pulled over a car and in fact had a guy in handcuffs and was taking shit out of the guy’s pockets. I get closer and see it’s the SAME FUCKING GUY who knocked on the door and demanded me to open it yesterday. He looked up just as I drove by and we made eye contact.

I hope I never see that guy again.