candy candy everywhere and not a drop to drink

While I do appreciate the occasional chocolate, I’m not much of a sweets person. I’d much rather eat something salty or drink something alcoholic. So far today, I’ve received from my coworkers a little box of Reese’s Pieces (with nuts), a chocolate wrapped in foil that looks like a severed ear and a cupcake. Whenever there’s a holiday of some sort, the chicks I work with go all out. They bring in homemade stuff, nicely-packaged stuff, gourmet stuff. Good for them, bad for my ass. Not that they’re forcing me to eat it. I just want to be polite. Ahem.

I wish there was a holiday during which we gave each other alcohol. I’d love to come in one morning and find a little Irish for my coffee. Perhaps in the afternoon a little delight in my cup. Why don’t we give each other bottles of Guinness for St. Pat’s? Cups of eggnog, with hooch, for Christmas? Champagne on December 31st? I think I’d work later than I already do if I could drink a glass of wine at my desk at the end of the day. As I’ve proven with this blog, I can write even when I’ve surpassed the alleged drunkenness of old Cooter Brown. I have a hard time typing, but I can always write. In fact, I’m drunk right now.

Not really. But I am currently drinking Coca-Cola Blak, and I’d like to blame that bad decision on drunkenness.

UPDATE: I just returned from lunch to find a bottle of Werewolf wine on my desk. Ask and ye shall receive…I’m going to ask for more stuff. Will let you know if anything comes true.