candy candy everywhere and not a drop to drink

While I do appreciate the occasional chocolate, I’m not much of a sweets person. I’d much rather eat something salty or drink something alcoholic. So far today, I’ve received from my coworkers a little box of Reese’s Pieces (with nuts), a chocolate wrapped in foil that looks like a severed ear and a cupcake. Whenever there’s a holiday of some sort, the chicks I work with go all out. They bring in homemade stuff, nicely-packaged stuff, gourmet stuff. Good for them, bad for my ass. Not that they’re forcing me to eat it. I just want to be polite. Ahem.

I wish there was a holiday during which we gave each other alcohol. I’d love to come in one morning and find a little Irish for my coffee. Perhaps in the afternoon a little delight in my cup. Why don’t we give each other bottles of Guinness for St. Pat’s? Cups of eggnog, with hooch, for Christmas? Champagne on December 31st? I think I’d work later than I already do if I could drink a glass of wine at my desk at the end of the day. As I’ve proven with this blog, I can write even when I’ve surpassed the alleged drunkenness of old Cooter Brown. I have a hard time typing, but I can always write. In fact, I’m drunk right now.

Not really. But I am currently drinking Coca-Cola Blak, and I’d like to blame that bad decision on drunkenness.

UPDATE: I just returned from lunch to find a bottle of Werewolf wine on my desk. Ask and ye shall receive…I’m going to ask for more stuff. Will let you know if anything comes true.

Published by Crystal Jackson

Fight stupidization.

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