crotchety or grouchy, you pick

Even though most of my TV viewing is Comedy Central late night, I haven’t escaped seeing a couple of ad entries from each of the four candidates for Texas gov. It’s the usual pattern. The independent people talk about themselves. The Dem talks about what he’d do if elected, and the Repub tells us that the Dem is “too liberal for Texas.” It’s the same old shit. Man, it’s boring.

On my way to work, an 18-wheeler almost ran me off the road. There was a big sticker on the back – “Your safety is our concern.” Nice.

OnStar and other in-dash navigation systems should be outlawed. People can find their way from one Starsucks to another without having to resort to GPS tracking. Of course, getting the system now makes it easier for Big Bro further on down the road. Although, technically, if you carry around a cellphone, they already know where you are. Or where your phone is, anyway. That’s why I occasionally strap my cellphone to a little mouse I’ve trained. I send him off to wander about the big city while I’m doing my counter culture activities – you know, sticking it to the man and stuff. I got the idea from Total Recall. I took lots of ideas from that movie. For instance, midgets with three boobs can be sexy if put in the correct figure-flattering lingerie.

Bill White is up for the title World Mayor. Throw him some love here. I’m waiting to see the bikini competition before I cast my vote.