Dennis and I were walking to lunch today, I’m sure talking about something of substance, when a dark, Nerf ball-sized thing appeared in my lower peripheral vision. It darted just in front of my left shoe. I think I jumped about a foot in the air. While that defies at least three different laws of nature, it doesn’t end there. I also shrieked. Like a girl. You must understand, I don’t shriek. I didn’t even know it was something that I could do. In addition, I grabbed Dennis’ shoulder. Hard. He’s probably bruised now. Since I don’t scare easy, Dennis became freaked out, sure that I must have just seen a severed head or half a rat. Nope. Just a flying shitbag, I mean pigeon. No biggie. For whatever reason, it scared the hell out of me. Just as we were catching our collective breath, a guy drove by laughing and yelled out at us that he wished he’d had his camera. Ahhh, yes.

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