time traveling

Robert told me about a really funny myspace blog entry written by a comic we used to know at the Laff Stop. We (Robert and I) were in a comedy troupe five years ago, and we spent many nights a week hanging out at the Stop. I do miss those days and most of those people. So I just popped over to the comic’s profile to read his blog (it was really funny, by the way). While there, I noticed he had a lot of the other Laff Stop comics on his friends list, so I started checking out some of their profiles to see what they’ve been up to over the past five years. Evidently, in addition to touring around to various comedy clubs across the country, many of them have been involved in some top secret experiments, probably financed by the gubment. I don’t know if it’s worm holes or string theory or time-stoppage or what, but people who were five or ten years older than me in 2001 have magically become eight or ten years younger than me five years later. So, somehow they’ve found a way to go back in time while the rest of us suckas are moving forward. I think they should share their discovery with the world. Might subsidize their comedy salaries. They could at least stay at better hotels when they’re on the road. Then again, they’re all in their 20s, so shitty hotel beds probably don’t mess up their backs like they do for us old people.

I would never lie about my age for two reasons. One, I just think it’s stupid. Two, I prefer for people to think I look younger than I am than to think, “Damn, that bitch must have done some hard living. She’s only 26 but she looks 32.