ebu gogo

Recently I watched a National Geographic special about the discovery of a skeleton on an island in Indonesia. The skeleton was that of a person who was just over three feet tall, and it was believed (by the locals) to belong to a species of human they call “ebu gogo,” which translates to grandmother who eats everything. The ebu gogo were short, but they were hungry. Some scientists have called the ebu gogo a “hobbit-like” species of human being that may have existed as recently as a few hundred years ago, while others think the ebu gogo are mythological and the skeleton just belonged to a really short person. With a really small head and small brain.

None of the debate matters to me as I have become enthralled with the physical description of the female ebu gogos. They are rumored to have been able to throw each breast over each shoulder. The image is striking. I hope I am never capable of it (gravity’s a bitch, but I don’t think it’s quite that strong), but the ability to do that little move has its up side. Just imagine, you’re having a conversation with a dumbass who has just offended your sensibilities. Rather than continue the conversation, you pick up the end of your right tit with your right hand, toss it over your left shoulder as if it is the end of a scarf, turn your nose up in the air, harrumph, and leave the room. Now THAT’S an exit.

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