stupid fat white people

The company picnic is today at a ranch way out 290. I’m so excited to be doing something different with my Monday – drinking beer, eating BBQ, sweating, playing horseshoes, hanging with people I never get to see. AND, hopefully I’ll be able to avoid the “how was your weekend” thing altogether since today feels like a Sunday. That’s a banner Monday.

Saw The DaVinci Code Saturday night. I didn’t read the book, but I’ve seen a couple of History channel specials on it and had a long conversation with my buddy Lisa about it a couple of years ago. I was intrigued by a (fictional) biblical storyline that elevated women to being almost equal to men (instead of apple-eating, repentant whores). The movie was beautiful. The dialogue was laughable. Tom Hanks was weird. The albino was cool.

And when we left the theater, right outside was a fat white couple and their embarrassed teenage daughter with signs about how evil the movie is. What these dumbass redneck Bush-voters don’t get is that this movie is making people talk and think about Jesus. Of course, I’m sure they neither read the book nor saw the movie, so they’re just doing what Bill O’Reilly tells them. Dumb fucks. And why is it so scandalous to think that maybe Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene, who was not a whore but was in fact his partner? Are some people so committed to believing that women are either whores or madonnas that there’s no room for anything in the middle? And really, who wants to follow a thirty-something year old virgin?

Unrelated — I just saw a commercial for the local business The Hand Center. This guy has been airing the same commercial for years and years. He’s talking about all of the hand surgeries he can do, and then at the end he’s sitting on the couch with his infant daughter “Sophie.” Okay, so I just saw another commercial for that place, only at the end, he’s holding a newborn who he also calls SOPHIE. The fuck? Is this guy just pumping out babies and naming them Sophie so he can make commercials? Is he kidnapping little girls, renaming them and then putting them in bad commercials? Um, creepy.

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