I received a myspace email message today from a guy presenting himself as brother of the Crystal Jackson that crazy old Keith Hill has been trying to contact. Considering it’s April Fool’s Day, plus it’s pretty random that someone would find my blogs about KH on Google just days after I’ve written them (while this situation between the two star-crossed lovers has been ongoing for some time), I’ve been having a hard time believing the email is for real. There are multiple people in my life I can see writing a fake email about this situation – Mason and Conn jump immediately to mind. If either of them or one of you did it, hats off. The tone is very believeable. And the story is so sad.
Sad to the point that I almost don’t think it’s fake. If it is indeed from the brother of the commonlaw wife of Keith Hill, my sympathies are with your sister for having to deal with someone who has done such horrible things. He should have his balls cut off and have to wear them as earrings. He should have to watch an entire Reba McEntire concert. He should have to give massages to each of the million aliens who are probably controlling him at this very moment.
The main thing that has made me waver about the authenticity of the email is one little factoid – Crystal Jackson-Hill is “borderline mentally retarded.” Of course. Now, I’m not going to say anything more about that. You can fill in the blanks yourself. It’s just that sort of rich detail that makes the email from Crystal’s brother so hard to figure. Time will tell. I just wanted to keep everyone in the loop since this has been of interest to a few of you.