I just half-watched the Academy Awards while sitting here writing.
– Tom Hanks looked really weird.
– Many of the actresses are so skinny they look like bobble-head dolls. No matter how much you diet, I guess you can’t shrink your head. Maybe some day someone will invent an actress shrinking machine so they can become pocket-sized. Pocket-sized but with huge tits.
– Playwright Martin McDonagh won an award tonight for a short film. I was hoping the guy who hit Sean Connery and called him an asshole at an awards ceremony a few years back would be more interesting.
– I literally did not see even one of the nominated movies. I need to get out more. Crash looks interesting.
– This awards ceremony was remarkably tame. I hoped for more considering Jon Stewart was the host. He, too, behaved. How boring.