ferrets and haiku

There’s a certain horror to writing a “statement of purpose” for grad school applications. Isn’t the fact that I’m applying to MFA writing programs pretty much the entire statement? Why must I clarify that decision? I want to write. Period. My temptation in situations like this is to write something pithy and not take myself too seriously, but come on – who is more self-serious than an MFA writing student? If I manage to get into a program, I’ll have to pick up an affectation just to fit in. Perhaps I’ll start smuggling ferrets in my shirt. Or illegal immigrants. Or speaking in haiku.

Statements of purpose
Suck on so many levels.
No school will want me.

I wrote that in under one minute. Bet you can’t tell because it’s so good. Jealous much?