I had the misfortune of being stuck in two traffic jams on 290 Sunday – one on my way out of town and one on my way in. I won’t call it bad luck – bad luck would have been being involved in either incident. A guy died in the morning accident that completely shut the freeway down (his car was hit by an asshole going over 100 – an asshole who kept going, by the way). Sitting there listening to a John Lennon special on XM and drinking a cup of coffee, I felt pretty lucky. Slight inconvenience, but no more.

As I sat in stopped traffic on my way back to Houston (and if you do much traveling on the interstate, you know how disconcerting it is to be totally stopped basically in the middle of nowhere) I had lots of time to ponder why there were such bad accidents. Obviously, the 3.5 inches of rain that fell during the day had something to do with it. But I think it goes beyond that. It’s people yakking on cell phones. It’s having a freaking entertainment system in your vehicle. It’s ramming your SUV up my ass when I’m already going 78. Are we all in that much of a freaking hurry? Really?

I especially like it when someone passes me in a piece of shit hoopdee. I’ve been in (and owned) plenty of cars that shake over 70 mph, and I know these craptastic junk mobiles are doing the hustle when they’re being pushed over 80. Some day, a jerkwad in a junker is going to be hot-footing it down the highway when the car will just rattle itself to pieces, leaving the jackass sitting there strapped to his car seat holding a steering wheel connected to nothing.