Crystal Jackson

Archive for the ‘burger’ Category

shouldn’t have tried to be fancy

In animals, burger, food and drink on January 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Being an old pro at visiting burger joints, shacks and shanties, I should have known better. It was an amateur mistake, and it led to my not having any lunch yesterday.

Here’s the deal. I needed to hit an old school and previously unvisited (by me) burger stand so I could gather information to write a profile about it for a client. I’m the perfect person for this job, no? A few coworkers came along for the journey. It was a pretty, breezy day, just right for sitting outside and chomping on a burger.

It happened so fast. The menu (multiple pages) was plastered on the window of the stand. Too many choices. Tacos, burgers, fried shrimp, tortas. There were people in line behind me, so I didn’t have the luxury of perusing my options. I had to go for it. This is where I went off script. See, they had a sign proclaiming the arrival of chicken strips, which they seemed to be very excited about. The excitement was contagious because out of my mouth came, “Chicken strips, please” instead of “cheeseburger, all the way.” And that’s when the train went off the tracks.

Don’t know if the chicken strips they’re so excited about are good or not because that is not, in fact, what was in my bag when they handed me my order. I ended up with fried chicken. On the bone. Though I’m an avowed meat eater, I draw the line at eating things on the bone. The act of ripping meat with my teeth grosses me out. A silly thing, but a thing just the same.

I tried tearing bite-size pieces of the chicken off with my fingers, but the skin was so greasy and hard it was an impossible task. The pigeons that quickly surrounded our table seemed pretty interested, but I don’t feed bird to birds. I looked at the fat pigeons that were so barrel-chested I doubt they can fly anymore. I looked at my chicken, which was of a similar size. I made an uncomfortable connection between the two. I gave up.

The lesson here? When visiting a burger joint, don’t try to be fancy or you might end up with an order of fried pigeon-chicken.

duck fat fries? don’t mind if I do

In burger, food and drink on September 20, 2010 at 5:01 pm

shortly after he took his first bite, Dennis said, "I should slap you," which in Dennis speak means he really loves something

I became aware of a new burger joint - The Burger Guys – a week or two ago and immediately sensed that it needed to be visited. When we did the burger journey a few years ago, we stuck with places within five or ten miles of the Alley. The Burger Guys wouldn’t have qualified back in the day because it’s far west – Westheimer between Kirkwood and Dairy Ashford and Simpson. Now that the burger journey only happens once or twice a month and is generally only populated with me and Dennis, we have more options. So we headed west.

As I’ve mentioned before, the burger that is in Dennis’ hand is often his favorite. I’m able to maintain a bit more emotional distance though, and – I’m not kidding when I say this – my Burger Guys burger was top five delicious. More expensive than the places we typically frequent, but the quality of the ingredients was a good trade off. The meat was still pink in the middle with plenty of juice and the bun looked handmade. I think they buy local, though I didn’t pay close enough attention. The burger was great, but I really want to talk about the fries.

I thought perhaps they were fried in magic, but according to the restaurant it’s actually duck fat. They were light and crispy and pillowy and delicious. You can order two sauces on the side per order of fries (we went with Tabasco aioli and an herbed ranch), but the sauce isn’t necessary. Almost gilding the lily. One order is plenty for two people – Dennis and I even left a token few in the cone. Dainty.


nice buns

You’ll notice the basket of onion strips in the background. They appear on some of the sandwiches and are probably great in that capacity, but as a side they didn’t do much for me. We totally ignored them and just ate the fries. (side note: They have Dublin Dr. Pepper on draft. Didn’t even know such a thing existed.)

One word of warning – not sure what was up with the floor, but I was wearing flat shoes with a rubber sole and almost ate it. It was like the floor was humid. Hopefully they’ll spray something to take care of that problem. Nothing will make you feel like a fatass more than chowing on a burger and fries and then wiping out on your way out the door.

PS – The nice thing about having a personal blog versus being a food writer is that I don’t have to worry about a dozen anonymous trolls telling me I’m a hillbilly for never having eaten duck fat fried fries before. So there’s that.

foiled by the burger place

In burger, food and drink, sartorial issues on September 9, 2010 at 3:51 pm

Today for lunch, I joined my burger buddy Dennis at Hubcap Grill downtown on Prairie. It was a short walk from the Alley, so we hoofed it. There is limited seating inside and a small patio outside. No way were we eating in the 90+ degree heat, so we found a cramped little corner near the counter and sat there. And sat there. We had lots to talk about, so we ended up sitting in the corner for over an hour. (side note: at no point was someone standing there with no place to sit – most of the downtown folks were in and out quickly – so we weren’t those jerky people who linger over the newspaper while other people are standing there with cold scrambled eggs on Sunday morning, waiting for a table to open up)

The side effect of being in a tiny little burger (and fries) place is that I now smell like fried food. Which is a pretty gross smell when you’re sitting in an office. But the worst thing is that I’m going to see a play tonight with Robert, and I’m self conscious about my eau de hamburger. Instead of worrying whether or not I’m grossing out other audience members or making them hungry, I’m going to jet home after work to change and then swim back upstream to the pre-show happy hour. Eh. There are much worse fates, so I’m not really complaining.

As for the burger – it was great! Fresh-never-frozen meat patties truly make the difference. Dennis said that Hubcap would probably be in his top five, but I reminded him that he says that a lot – I think his most recent burger is often in his top five. I’m looking forward to visiting again when it has cooled off so I can sit on the patio and just smell like Metro exhaust instead of french fries.

PS – Hubcap has a burger with peanut butter, bacon and cheese on it. No lie.

this is why the terrorists hate us

In burger, family, food and drink on August 5, 2010 at 3:44 pm

My brother Mason was a bacon aficionado. He loved (and ingested) the stuff more than seemed possible for such a slim guy. I still remember when he excitedly shared the news that there was a place near College Station that served…deep fried bacon. As in, bacon that was battered and dropped in the deep fryer. In this modern age of fried butter and fried coke, deep fried bacon doesn’t seem that exotic. But this was a few years ago, before America had completely given up and just strapped the permanent feed bag to its mouth. We talked about taking a trip to this magical bacon wonderland, but, like many plans in life cooked up over too many beers, never actually made it there.

All this to say, when Dennis and I went to Christian’s Tailgate for burgers today and Dennis spotted “Country Fried Bacon Burger” on the menu, it seemed a crime not to give it a try. As the title of this post suggested, the Country Fried Bacon Burger is an example of all that is wrong (and yet so, so right) with this country. One of Christian’s already large burgers was topped with all the usual trimmings PLUS about three pieces of battered and fried bacon PLUS two onion rings. I’m almost regurgitating as I type.

You can see the sheer height of the burger in the shot above. No way my dainty mouth was getting around that thing. So I removed the fried materials from the burger to munch on the side. I was disappointed in the bacon. It seemed to have been thrown in the fryer raw, so it was limp and chewy. The breading was a little too thick, too. I have no idea what voodoo is necessary to deep fry something like bacon, but it seems to me that at least partially cooking it first would make the bacon feel better in the mouth, taste better and allow for less of the batter to be stuck to the outside. Hard to believe there can be overkill on something as ridiculous as deep fried bacon, but overkill there was. Too much breading.

As per usual, Christian’s burger was still very tasty, though I only ate about half of it. The majority of my country fried bacon sat wilted and forlorn in my little red burger basket. Though the bacon didn’t live up to the fantasy, I’m glad I tried it. Instead of pouring some out for my homie who isn’t here, I ate a piece of ridiculousness in his honor.

accidental nudity, burger with a side of schlong

In burger, food and drink, things that make me happy, things that surprise me on March 7, 2010 at 2:29 am

I’m like Mr. Rogers when I get home from work. I walk in the door, take off whatever I’ve been wearing all day and put on something more comfortable. Usually yoga pants and whatever random tank or tee grabs my fancy. It’s partly about comfort, but I think a lot of it is mental. It divides the day in a concrete way. (In addition to the act of physically leaving my office and driving 13 miles to get home…)

One of my favorite tees to wear at home belonged to Mason – it’s a concert shirt for the band The Darkness. I like it for two reasons. One: I remember Mason playing this song for me when he first got the album. Two: There’s just something funny about me wearing a tee shirt that says THE DARKNESS across the front. It’s like an unnecessary warning for James (trust me, he already knows). Anyway, I woke up in a funny mood this morning, so I thought I’d wear that tee today. Have never worn it outside of the house. This becomes important.

We went to breakfast at Harry’s, then roamed around inside Spec’s, then Party Boy and Arne’s. Then I did the weekly grocery shopping at the huge HEB on Bunker Hill. In a tee shirt that has this image on the back. I didn’t realize it until I took the shirt off at the end of the day. It’s not that it is such a scandalous image, but it’s not something I would typically wear to the fucking grocery store. I doubt that Mason wore it very often, either. It’s from 2003 and is still black.

That was good for a chuckle.

Sort of related – Dennis and I grabbed lunch yesterday at a chain burger place that isn’t very good. The meal was more about the company than the food. There was a guy at the next table who kept looking over. I asked Dennis if there was a TV above my head playing a baseball game or Nancy Grace or something. (side note – I asked this first before saying some guy was giving me the eyeball because I always think I’m being checked out and then find that there’s a TV behind me or a guy picking his nose or something more interesting than I) Dennis says there’s no TV, so I tell him that this dude is checking me out. Dennis starts paying attention. This guy isn’t doing some sort of casual flirty glance. Not even a stalker stare. He’s, like, aggressively looking at me. As if I hit his car on the way in. I’m starting to get slightly creeped out when Dennis says, “It’s like he wants to wear your skin.” BINGO. That was exactly what it was like. Fast forward to the evening and guess what movie was on – yup, Silence of the Lambs.

Just put the lotion in the basket.

Anyway, this place has a lot of large framed black and white posters on the walls. They are probably sold in packets to restaurants that don’t want to have to do their own decorating. The usual Americana images of farmers and old cars and moms and pops. And sailors. Sailors with…huge schlongs. I’m not some creepy crotch starer, and it’s not like I was looking for it. But there it was, watching me eat my burger. Think I’m exaggerating? I knew the moment I saw it that I’d have to write about it, so I took a picture for backup. It’s not the best shot because who really wants to be busted for taking a picture of the crotch of a man in a sailor suit in a framed black and white poster on the wall of a not great hamburger joint.

You’re welcome.

effluvia

In burger, lists on January 20, 2009 at 7:15 pm

Jeff Balke tagged me today. I’m in a good mood since Cletus and Mister Potter have left the building, so I decided to play.

I live in mortal fear of the unknown thing or things that live under my bed.
Each night after I turn out the light, I have to make a harrowing journey to the bed. I’m fine getting across the room, but once I reach the foot of the bed I start moving a little faster. I’m pretty sure my heart rate increases, but I wouldn’t know for sure because I’m distracted. Waiting for the hand. The cold, strong hand that I know is going to reach out and grab my bare ankle. Oh, I know it’ll happen. And even though I’ve prepared myself for the experience, even though I know it’s an inevitability, I’ll still probably pee a little.

I give people nicknames.
I tend to give nicknames to people who aren’t in the inner circle (with the exception of my friend Morgan). I don’t know why I do it. Sometimes it’s because I can’t remember/don’t know someone’s name and I need some way to refer to them. Sometimes it’s out of admiration. More often, it’s out of disdain. Some examples of my nickname-giving prowess: Stretchy Pants, Mashed Potato Girl, TMM (Thoroughly Modern Morgan), Nantucket, Arthur (for a small, drunk woman), the Hobbit and one of my most imaginative – Dickhead.

Sometimes I just…know things.
Call it ESP or being cuckoo or whatever, but I occasionally know things that are beyond my realm of experience. This doesn’t apply to lottery tickets.

I have a huge crush on Jon Stewart.
I don’t typically credit entertainers with having a direct impact on me, but I make an exception for Jon Stewart. He just breaks down the stupidity in a way I’ve never seen before. Especially during interviews. One recent segment that stands out to me is when he talked to Mike Huckabee about gay marriage. He’s thoughtful, concise, funny, smart and he has balls.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Mike Huckabee Pt. 2
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

I once went on something called “the burger journey.”
My friend Dennis and I decided to try all (well, most) of the wonderful burger shacks inside the loop a few years ago. This was to be a Thursday lunch excursion. The first week was just the two of us. Then the second week there were three. And then four. By about week 15, there were ten or twenty people meeting in the lobby of the Alley and bombarding Mom and Pop burger joints with way more business than they could handle. Fast forward a few years, and here I am. Haven’t had a burger or fried potato since July. My last meal, as it were, was at a place out in the country. And it was truly one of the best burger/tots meals I’ve ever eaten. Thanks, Mr. Walsh.

Okay – that was only five, and I was supposed to do seven. My lunch break is over. And, really, haven’t you had enough of this bullshit?

Please feel free to leave random facts about yourself in the comments.

country burger

In burger, food and drink on July 21, 2008 at 7:59 pm

My dad alerted me to one of Robb Walsh’s columns in the Houston Press recently. He’s the food writer (Walsh, not my dad).

Walsh’s columns have always been worth a read. Especially when he talks about old school burger joints. So Dad mentioned this review of a place out in the country, the 105 Grocery and Deli, north of 290 near Washington-on-the-Brazos. Here’s the article. After being turned on to Christian’s Totem/Tailgate and Barbecue Inn by Mr. Walsh, I believe what the man says. So Saturday afternoon, on a whim and about thirty minutes past hungry, James and I decided to make the hour-plus drive to the burger place out in the country. Man was it worth it. The wait for the burger was about thirty minutes, which I didn’t mind because there was a lot to look at. There was the chain-smoking, Miller Lite drinking lesbian in tight Wranglers sitting to my right. She and her teenage daughter and two teen boys sat there shooting the shit and scratching lottery tickets. And they kept winning. At least one of the boys won $50 on one ticket. Congratulations?

And there was a constant stream of people in and out. I have no idea where these people were coming from. This place is really kind of in the middle of nowhere about ten miles from Navasota. But there was almost always someone in line. And there were some great signs on the deli case by the cash register. My favorite:

No smokin (the “g” had been erased) cigars in the store, and if your pants aren’t pulled UP you will not be served. Thank you.

One guy actually came in smoking a Swisher Sweet and was chastised by the chick at the counter. His pants were pulled up, though, so she ended up serving him.

As for the burger…ahhh, the burger. It’s been a long time since the burger journey at the Alley. I don’t eat that kind of meal very often anymore. But I still know a good burger when I eat one, and this bitch was delicious. The patty was fresh, and it had a lot of black pepper on it. The bun was toasted just right. The veggies were crisp. It was altogether a terrific meal. I recommend it if you’re looking for something different to do on a Saturday afternoon, and it’s too hot to be outside. It’s an easy drive up 290, and the ten or fifteen miles north of the interstate is pretty and green. It’s easy to miss the place – the sign doesn’t actually say 105 Grocery and Deli. It says DK Gen Store, Café, Meat Market, Feed Store.

Just make sure you pull your pants up before you go in.

[NOTE: regarding the picture above - I quickly snapped that shot with the camera on my phone. I don't like to be a tourist, snapping pictures of the local "color" to show my big city friends back home. So this was taken on the d.l., as was a picture of the sign mentioned above (I wanted to get the words right). Though the shot isn't very good, you can see the delicious, crisp tots, the big burger with meat that has uneven edges - the hallmark of a fresh patty - and the Dr. Pepper made with Imperial sugar. Nice.]

the road trip

In burger, travel on May 21, 2008 at 12:41 am

The trip to Grand Canyon was as much about the journey as it was the destination.

The oft lamented looooong drive through far west Texas was welcome on this trip because it accomplished one important thing – it got me far, far away from people. You can go hundreds of miles and barely see a gas station. And the terrain at times looks like the moon or another planet. Or, like this:

I was amazed at the sheer enormity of space with nothing man-made sitting on it. No Starbucks, Office Max, CVS, Home Depot. Nada. I felt like I finally had some room.

Something funny I realized on this trip – the majority of knowledge I had about the Southwest came from cartoons. Mostly Roadrunner/Wile E. Coyote cartoons. Until seeing some on this trip, I thought that chipmunks were much bigger than squirrels. It turns out that they are not. Nor do they wear sweaters and sing a cappella. I never had confidence in my ability to spell Albuquerque until planning this trip, but I always wanted to make sure I didn’t take a wrong turn when I got there.

At about mile 320 on I-10 in Arizona is an odd array of boulders called Texas Canyon. In order to accommodate the people who would probably just about run off the road looking at this weird geological display, there’s a rest stop. I took a few pictures, but none of them really captured the scope and sheer weirdness of the place.

As you can see from the amazing blue sky, we were lucky to have perfect weather on this trip. And I guess I’ve gotten so used to the white/gray/blue combo Houston sky, just seeing clean/clear air was a thrill.

One of the many fun parts of planning a trip is reading up on restaurant suggestions and trying out different places. A great website for this activity is Chowhound. The website has forums for different parts of the country (and points further away). Foodies and people who just can’t help but share their opinions agree and disagree about what’s good and what’s not worth your time. It’s up to you to try to figure out who to listen to. [side note: I read online reviews a lot - for books, hotels, etc. - and sometimes I wonder why it is that I believe the opinions of people who post their reviews online when I have never done so - it would suggest that I'm listening to people who are nothing like me - but what the hell]


A great Chowhound recommendation was Delux in Phoenix. They serve a fresh not frozen burger topped with good cheese, grilled onions and bacon. We had to check it out. What I didn’t know is that the restaurant was in the yuppie part of town. During the drive there and back to the highway, I kept saying that the city was “clean.” But clean didn’t really nail it. Then I figured out the word I was looking for – sterile. I now understand that Phoenix has recently undergone a large growth spurt, so I guess a lot of what we were seeing was pretty new.

And look at the cute little basket the order of sweet potato and potato potato fries comes in:

It was over 90 degrees when we had lunch. The place was packed and we didn’t want to lose too much time, so we took a table outside. I would never eat lunch in the middle of August in Houston on a patio. Too hot. But this is that dry heat. Plus, they had misters around the perimeter of the patio. I was amazed at how well they worked. It was like getting a cold burst of air off and on. Very refreshing, not at all wet and it made the difference for dealing with the heat. Oh, and the burger was very good. Unlike a similar burger you might find in Houston, the toppings were not too heavy. Just a hint of each ingredient.

We hit two different Mexican restaurants on our two nights in New Mexico. I was surprised that the Mexican food there was much, much hotter than what we eat in Houston. From the salsa to the meal itself, the fire was turned way up. Of the two restaurants (one in Las Cruces, one in Albuquerque), I liked Sadie’s in Alb. the best. I had carne adovada, a dish of roasted pork with a bunch of other stuff piled on top. Obviously the presentation isn’t high on the list for Sadie’s, as my dinner looked like a big pile of crap. But man it was tasty. And way too much food. Interesting – the sides were beans and cubed, fried potato rather than beans and rice.

Mid-way through the trip I purchased Blue, a handmade little flying pig.

Blue became the mascot for the trip and still hangs from my rearview mirror. It makes me happy.

A few miles outside of Grand Canyon National Park, we came upon one of those scenic turnoffs you see periodically on the side of the highway. I don’t know if I’ve ever pulled into one before. When you’re on a road trip, you have to take the time to hit a few of these things. At this particular turn off was a 1,000 foot sheer drop. We saw some fat lizards and kept an eye out for snakes. Didn’t see any of those, thankfully. To get to the most “scenic” part, you had to walk about half a mile down a rock-strewn path and around a curve and away from your vehicle. I started getting worried that this was some kind of trap (you can take the girl out of the city…), where they hit you over the head and then steal your car. Of course it was not. And I was embarrassed that I even thought that.

Have you slept in a wigwam lately? This place on historic Route 66 in Holbrook, AZ is still open, and I plan on staying there the next time I’m in that part of the country. It’s just such a slice of Americana and seems like a fun place to spend the night.

Each teepee features its own vintage vehicle.

The teepees are made of concrete.

A shot of the interior. Note the fantastic bedspreads. I want one. The teepees that were vacant had open doors so you could peek inside. I was happy to note how clean the interiors were.

Can’t wait for the next road trip. You really get the sense that you’ve been somewhere when you put more than 3,000 miles on your odometer. I highly recommend it. Just make sure you take the time to hit a few scenic turnoffs.

Ask a Dilettante – All it Takes is Money, Honey

In ask a dilettante, burger on May 13, 2007 at 2:14 pm

Is it true that the New Orleans Poboy lot is going to be turned into a Barnes & Noble?

You’re getting your Houston landmark bulldozed for crappy chain store story confused. I’m not sure what will be built on the lot where Original New Orleans Po-Boy served up some of the best burgers in Houston. Whatever it becomes, it won’t be as interesting as a cash-only burger joint with saucy counter help who made you so nervous, you’d rehearse your order in your head prior to being asked for it. And, inevitably, you’d stumble and forget to say “no mayo” and then get some attitude when you corrected your order. It will be sure to lack metal-capped chair legs that made a horrible screeching noise when the uninitiated scooted back on the tile floor without rising out of the seat. It won’t have individual wedges of Sock-it-to-Me cake wrapped in plastic next to the register. Count on it.

There are rules to having a good burger experience. The place has to be the type of establishment most likely described as a “joint” – no fancy restaurants serving up expensive yuppie burgers. The place has to have at least one really bitchy employee. The place has to be in or near a neighborhood and at least half-populated with regular customers. The place has to have a slight layer of grease on the walls that could be removed with a fingernail, if you dared. Of course, you don’t dare. You’re not crazy, just hungry.

The last year in Houston has been a sad one for burger lovers. In addition to Original New Orleans Po-Boy, the Pig Stand on Washington Avenue closed down. Just as with the po’ boy place, there was no warning. Dedicated customers were not given the chance to come by for one final bite, weeping into their burger baskets as yet another piece of Houston history bit the dust. So my suggestion to all burger lovers is to enjoy the few legit places that remain, knowing that each time you go might be your last.

So Dilettante, how’s the presidential race going? Are you raising a lot of money for your campaign? Have you picked a running mate yet?

Yeah, about that bid of mine…things aren’t progressing as well as I’d hoped. I wasn’t invited to participate in either of the recent debates. As of today, I have raised roughly $63.75. It is being estimated that the 2008 presidential election will cost over $1 billion for the first time ever, with each of the two main candidates spending $500 million. Seems in order to be considered a “serious” contender, candidates will have to have $100 million in their coffers by the end of the year. That’s seven months away, so I really have my work cut out for me.

As for the running mate, I’ve been thinking hard about my options. Since I don’t have enough money to buy my way into office, which is the American way of late, I was thinking of asking an adorable little puppy to be my second-in-command. Who can deny a furry, cuddly little fuzzball? The timing has to be just right to get the biggest bang from the cute factor, though, because those things grow really fast.

[This column originally appeared in its entirety on Houstonist.]

dark day

In burger on November 21, 2006 at 3:12 pm

Pig Stand is closed. After 80+ years on Washington Avenue. I’m sad and pissed and disappointed and surprised and not surprised.

I’ve been predicting this horrible event for some time in this blog, since the Target arrived a few blocks away, hoping I was just being melodramatic. It wasn’t the Target that did the restaurant in, though – it was bad management and back taxes. Read about it here and here. Evidently the owner had been trying to dump the Pig Stand franchise for some time. If you ever visited the location on Washington Avenue, you would have seen pictures of this guy in his best starched, nut hugger jeans and cowboy hat – I think he claimed to be a country singer. In fact, I’m pretty sure there was an album cover behind the cash register with his image on it. Not being a fan of country music, shitty or otherwise, I never looked into his musical abilities. So I would guess his focus was not on the food. And, really, who can think with their nuts in a denim vice.

Over the past two years what for over a decade was a regular breakfast and occasional burger stop for me had become a once every couple of months visit. It was like hanging out with that friend you know you have nothing in common with anymore but you keep trying to make it work because of the good memories. You know it’s inevitable that by the end of your night out, your friend will have puked on your shoes and pissed off your other (more together) friends, yet you still hang out. Pig Stand had gotten to the point that you’d wait for 45 minutes to get your food at lunch, and there would only be three other tables occupied. In fact, my last meal there was with my friend Dennis, and the food took so long the waitress didn’t charge us for it. So my (unknowing) final visit to Pig Stand was on the house, and the waitress received a ten dollar tip. At least that last burger (it was a patty melt) was really, really delicious. Reminded me of the good old days. But not all of the recent visits were so culinarily positive – many were mediocre-to -shitty.

Ah, well, I’m sure a Starbucks or Barnes & Noble or Bed, Bath and Bullshit will soon open on the site. Or, maybe someone will build some more of those sucky three story townhomes that look like garages except for the fancy brick facade.

Or, I can hope that someone with some money and a love for Houston’s history buys the restaurant, reopens (under a different name but with a similar deal) and makes a killing. They could turn the place into a bar at night. Multi-purpose that bitch. The counter is already there. Just some minor tweaking to make it a dual bidness. Burgers by day, beer by night. I really think it could work. I hope someone with some cashola does something cool.

Sigh.

another one bites the dust

In burger, random on September 14, 2006 at 5:46 pm

A year or so ago, some Alley friends and I went on a journey… a journey to find Houston’s best burger. For 31 Thursdays in a row, we traveled for lunch to places we’d been, places we’d heard of and places that just looked cool from the outside. There were a few unwritten rules that governed our choices. The place had to be the type of establishment most likely described as a “joint” – no yuppie burgers. The place had to have at least one really bitchy employee. The place had to be in or near a neighborhood. The place had to have a slight layer of grease on the walls that could be removed with a fingernail. We mostly stayed inside the loop, but we did venture out for a few places that we knew to be good – Bellaire Broiler Burger being the main one worth the drive. After visiting some burgers twice and three times, we came up with the top five.

In no particular order:
- Pig Stand
- Christian’s Totem (now Christian’s Tailgate)
- Lankford Grocery
- New Orleans Poboy
- Triple A

Since that magical burger-time, some things have changed. Most of the people who went on the burger journey no longer work at the Alley (except Dennis – he was my partner in all of this and he’s still here with me). No, they didn’t die of heart attacks. They just moved on. Pig Stand has been diminishing in food quality and service for a couple of years. Christian’s Tailgate is a victim of its own success, and now the wait for a burger is too long. Finally, New Orleans Poboy is closing/closed. It’s terribly sad. There are so few places in Houston that are this old school (and not in a kitschy, wink-wink way). You have to pay in cash, they don’t make it until you order it, the customers are always a diverse group, the food is greasy spoon great, the same people have been working there for decades, the Coke paraphernalia is random and extensive, the chairs make a horrible screeching sound when the uninitiated try scooting backwards, and, finally, the cheeseburger poboy is one of my favorite burgers of all time. I’m so sad to see it go.

With the imminent demise of the West Alabama Theater/Bookstop and the gentrification of so many old, central neighborhoods, I guess I shouldn’t stay attached to very much anymore. At least the Alley has been around for sixty years. I don’t think we’ll be tearing down our building (castle) any time soon and putting a fucking Barnes and Noble on the lot.

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