tick/spam/Omaha/breasts

(sorry for the lack of narrative in this post–it’s a good reflection of the inside of my brain right now)

ticktickticktick
The theme song sound for 60 Minutes always bums me out. For decades now, that ticking clock has signaled the end of the weekend. Doesn’t matter if I hear it on a Wednesday afternoon or a Friday night. It’s Pavlovian.

fee-fi-fo-fanna
There’s a certain someone from a far away place who is interested in being my pen pal. Here, check out the email I just received:

Hello! What is your name? At supervision of your structure I very much have become interested in you. My name is Anna. If you want with me to communicate then write to me. If you write to me do not forget to specify yours e-mail of the address that I could answer to you.

Quit checking out my structure, “Anna.”

Omaha
In May, I’ll be able to check another state off my list when I spend a week and a half in Omaha for the Great Plains Theatre Conference. The Singularity will receive a reading and talkback, and I’ll get to spend some time just being a playwright around other people who are doing the same (many of whom probably get to just be a playwright more often than I).

monstrous breasts
Said by me in my kitchen last week, “Wow, look at the size of these breasts. All three of them are HUGE.” James didn’t know what to say as I jiggled them in his face.

The question I have is: What the fuck are they feeding these chickens? Has anyone else noticed how large chicken breasts have been lately? This is across brands, from organic to extra-pesticidey. I’m used to getting packages with four “regular” size breasts–solid B or C cup–but lately I’ve been getting more like two or three DDs. Unless these chickens are also working their legs, I’m not sure how they have the strength to carry their upper bodies around all day.

 

4 thoughts on “tick/spam/Omaha/breasts

  1. I have indeed noticed the largeness of the breasts and figured it represented some facet of chicken husbandry that I was content to not know about. As for Omaha, congratulations and have a good time, if possible; Omaha does not inspire in me visions of hilarious behavior and riotous hijinks, although you, being CryJack, will no doubt stir something up.

    Tequila may help with that.

    tj

    • Hey, man, any place that can convene about 30 playwrights from all over the country must be doing something right. And you know how theatre people are…tequila may not be necessary (though it will always be welcome).

  2. Selective breeding, and in the case of the non-organic ones, there’s also the possibility of growth hormones in the feed. Strength to carry their upper bodies around? That’s a good one! Like any mass production chickens have to actually carry their weight around anymore. Even when it says “free range” on the package, that just means that they don’t sit in an individual small box all day, but rather, they are packed all together in one big box, so tight that they don’t have to carry their own weight.

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